The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical find this reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would check out here not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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