The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us useful reference feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary here scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" link chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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